Intuitive Eating Principle #3 - Make Peace with Food
through the practice of habituation
Before Intuitive Eating, I was a highly anxious human.
I was constantly playing the comparison game, wondering what people were thinking of me as I measured myself against them. I was overwhelmed with food rules and riddled with guilt every time I messed up on my diet. There was so much shame, and I was constantly beating myself up for knowing the “right thing to do” and failing to do it.
I didn’t anticipate that Intuitive Eating would bring me peace.
I especially didn’t anticipate the peace that Intuitive Eating would bring because I didn’t believe IE would work for me.
When I first learned the concept of “food freedom,” I was positive that it worked for skinny dietitians but that it would never be *for* me. I was too busy playing games with food (read: dabbling in diet culture) to believe that I could be free from the restrict-binge cycle I found myself in. I had no self-control (but that’s a topic for another day)!
Maybe you feel similar things to what I felt when I heard the phrase “unconditional permission to eat.” What stirs in you when you hear that phrase?
To me, it felt like I was giving myself permission to be out of control, and that didn’t sit well with me.
As I was preparing for this post, I dug out the journal where I took notes while learning the framework of Intuitive Eating. Imagine my surprise when I unfolded an article that had been tucked into the front of the journal: “Why and How to Give Yourself Permission to Eat Anything,” by Evelyn Tribole.
I strongly encourage you to pause and read that article in its entirety before we move on!
The ultimate goal of full permission is to take away the feeling of mental restriction. When you remove restriction and have the option to eat what you want, when you want it, the obsession and urgency around food diminish, and you can start to enjoy food without guilt or overeating.
When the urgency, obsession, and guilt are gone, you can experience peace.
I really wish we were having a face-to-face conversation, or I could put a little Q&A box here to ask you – do you believe you can experience peace around food?
Maybe you’re being held back by fear. Do any of these sound familiar?
I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop eating once I start eating my forbidden food.
I have tried to make peace with food before, and it didn’t work.
If I give myself unconditional permission to eat, I will not eat healthfully.
I feel like I’m addicted to my forbidden food.
I have a hard time trusting myself around food.
I shouldn’t eat these foods until I lose weight.
If you’re wrestling with any of these fears, I would love to connect with you to help you work through them!
Paul writes on multiple occasions in his letters to the churches about food freedom. He reminds Christians that we are no longer under the law and that all foods are now considered clean (see Romans 14, 1 Corinthians 8 & 10, Colossians 2, and 1 Timothy 4). You can also see this in Peter’s dream in Acts 10. And if that’s not convincing enough, Jesus also declares all food clean in Mark 7. Food freedom is for you!
If you’re ready to make peace with food, one of the most fun practices is the practice of habituation.
Habituation Practice:
Choose a "Forbidden" Food – Pick a food you’ve historically labeled as "bad" or avoided. Start with one that feels slightly challenging but not overwhelming.
Create a Neutral Experience – Set aside time to eat this food in a calm environment, free of distractions. Serve yourself a portion that feels right.
Engage Your Senses – Before you eat, notice the food’s appearance, smell, texture, and taste. How do you feel? During eating, consider how it feels to eat it. Is it as satisfying as you expected? When you’re finished, note the overall experience. Did it meet your expectations? Would you do anything differently?
Observe Without Judgment – Pay attention to thoughts and emotions that arise. If guilt or fear shows up, acknowledge them, then remind yourself that all foods are morally neutral.
Repeat Regularly – Continue exposing yourself to this food over time, without restriction. Notice how the urgency or emotional charge around it shifts.
This practice helps normalize previously off-limits foods, reducing their power over you and fostering trust in your body's natural cues.
What feelings stir inside you as you consider trying this practice? Are you excited? Nervous?
One tip is to make sure you use the *same* food each time as you work toward making peace with any particular food—down to the brand and flavor. If you are making peace with Turkey Hill mint chocolate chip ice cream (the green kind), be sure to stick with that while you’re working on making peace with mint chocolate chip ice cream. If you buy Breyers' white mint chocolate chip ice cream, it’s a whole different taste, texture, and chocolate chip experience. Unfortunately, you’ll have to make peace with one brand before moving on to the next, or you risk having this exercise take much longer. You can make peace with “ice cream in general” later in your journey.
When I first learned the framework of Intuitive Eating, my kids were 6 and 8. At the time, 6-year-old Liam liked Swedish Fish. Liam is a super picky eater, and I’m pretty sure 11-year-old Liam doesn’t eat Swedish Fish, but back then, he did. So we often had BIG bags of Swedish Fish in our house—as in warehouse-club large.
Remember, we’re talking pre-Intuitive Eating, still stuck-in-diet-culture days when I say: I would hit those Swedish Fish hard. Handful after handful. They were SO good. I loved them. I did not have control when it came to Swedish Fish. So I decided to use that as the food for my habituation practice.
I can so clearly remember doing this activity. My husband brought me a few Swedish Fish in a small bowl. I was in my room. It was quiet, distraction-free. And I observed all the things.
Enjoy these notes from my practice:
Something unexpected happened. I made peace with Swedish Fish that day. And friend, that was just the beginning of peace for me.
As I continued on my Intuitive Eating journey I truly quit diet culture, I gave myself unconditional permission to eat, and I made peace with food.
I want to pause and remind you that it’s a journey. It takes practice. It’s a lot of small steps in the right direction and sometimes some big steps backward. It’s about getting curious. It’s about taking note of what happened and what the outcome was, then committing to try again and do things differently next time.
Psalm 34:14 challenges us to “seek peace and pursue it”—not to wait for peace to come to us, but to actively go after it. This reflects Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:9, where He blesses the peacemakers. True peace requires effort, reconciliation, and a heart aligned with God’s will. How does this connect to your Intuitive Eating journey?
What would it look like to give yourself a little extra grace as you work toward pursuing peace with food?
As you dive into Principle #3—Making Peace with Food, I want to close out this post by praying this prayer over you:
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it. —1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
Praying peace over your journey!
Emily
Intuitive Eating Counselor & Coach at IE with Emily
You can find more on Intuitive Eating Principle #3 - Make Peace with Food over on my Instagram @iewithemily:
If the idea of giving yourself unconditional permission to eat certain foods brings up fear or resistance, you’re not alone. In coaching, we create a supportive space to explore those fears and move toward a more peaceful relationship with food. Learn more at www.iewithemily.com.
P.S. Here’s the link to Principle #4 - Challenge the Food Police!
THIS is a powerful argument for making peace with food. I was initially a doubter that I could ever have peace where food was concerned. But, I do now! It is amazing to be free in this area!